You Can Run But You Can’t Hide…

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Beautiful Bali

I’m into my final week in Bali. Five months here. Wow! It’s a bit of a blur really, when I think back on everything I’ve done and the awesome people I’ve shared my time with…

 

When I decided to come back to Bali this year, my main intentions were:

  • To see Yogi and Ari and spend quality time with them.
  • Have some time for myself without the day by day necessity of a job. Time to think. Time to get clarity.
  • To spend time writing my book, look at creating an online workshop, and to find ways to be able to earn an income no matter where in the world I might be.

So, after five months what have I achieved?

At first thought I don’t feel like I achieved anything constructive at all. But now that I’m actually thinking about it and writing it down, I realise I have actually achieved most of my intentions (the book and online course still wait).

I didn’t spend hours sitting around contemplating my life.  As romantic as that sounds, it was much more subtle than that, slowly working behind the scenes and settling into my psyche without any awareness on my part.

And so, the major achievements for me this time in Bali have been:

  • Spending awesome times with Yogi and Ari. My relationship with these children grows stronger all the time. I love them with all my heart and am committed to helping them and being in their lives forever. Also the growing bond with Budi and Resta and the other children at the Yayasan. So very special.

Beach fun

  • Another stint of volunteer teaching at the Yayasan. This always puts me out of my comfort zone. It doesn’t come naturally to me but the rewards of seeing the kids learning and taking it in are priceless and so fulfilling.

Volunteer Teaching

  • Meeting some beautiful and amazing people, some of whom I’m absolutely sure are life time connections.

New Friends

  • I feel very comfortable in Bali now. I am confident in dealing with people here, speaking a little of the language, and organising things for myself. This has been a huge boost to my confidence, so much so that I intend to bring others here next year and I have two awesome retreats planned

Retreat yourself

  • I am enjoying my own company, my freedom, my choices. I don’t have a ‘partner’ in my life right now and that’s very comfortable and empowering for me. I feel strong and capable and don’t feel the need for a relationship at the moment.

I'm ok with me

  • I know without a doubt that I want to be ‘location independent’ in my work. To be able to work from anywhere and therefore enjoy the freedoms that naturally brings…So, in the past month I have started on this very path by promoting myself as a Virtual Assistant (new website coming soon!), specialising in proof reading and copy editing. Once I decided that’s what I wanted it wasn’t long before I landed my first paid proof reading/editing job for a German woman in London! I’ve also been helping build a blog based website for my new friend Marie here in Ubud, which has proved challenging at times (mainly because I need to research how to do things from scratch again), but it’s also very rewarding seeing it all come together.

Location Independance

So, as I contemplate my return to New Zealand, and the reality of that return, in hindsight I ask myself the question – was I running away?  So, what’s my answer? I think to some degree I was. Running away to find that clarity, to know myself deeper, something I wasn’t managing to do at home in the day to day reality of life.

Contemplation

Remember the saying – you can run but you can’t hide? –  it’s true. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you – your same thoughts, feelings and patterns. So even though you take five months out of your “usual” life to “find yourself” or whatever, you still have distractions, you still procrastinate, and you still beat yourself up that you “should” be doing better…do you need to go half way around the world to figure that one out?

Maybe you do…going half way around the world puts you in situations you don’t normally come across.  It gives you access to all sorts of teachings for the soul, makes you appreciate what you DO have, stretches you in directions you never thought possible (good old comfort zone) – and of course – it’s a whole lot of FUN!

I certainly don’t regret the time I’ve spent away, not for a minute. To be honest I do get uncomfortable with the financial cost…but, the life changing experiences, learning’s and connections that have been made – you just can’t put a price on that. And so, in years from now, when I’m lying on my death bed thinking back to this time and the money I’ve spent, will I regret it – NEVER!

I wouldn’t be where I am, right here, right now, within myself, if I hadn’t of taken the chance and followed my dreams…and so the journey continues, and from where I’m sitting at the moment, it’s a pretty fabulous journey…

Retreat Yourself

Retreats in Bali 2015:

Women’s Retreat – feed your senses…feed your soul…

Writer’s Retreat

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Comments

  1. Good on you Paula. It sounds like you have had an amazing time…I can’t wait to hear how things unfold on the return. Re-entry may be a challenge too but it sounds like you are becoming the master or your own destiny.
    x Andrea

    • Hi Andrea, yes, it’s been amazing on many levels…I’m hoping the re-entry is easier than last time…I’m in a very different place within myself this time around and have good things planned so I’m sure it will be fine. Look forward to catching up very soon xx

  2. You look so happy Paula.
    Although I’m looking forward to having you home, i’m also sad that you have to leave what you love most.
    I really do hope the smiles continue back in NZ, it really is a special place as well (we do take it for granted, me included), surrounded by people that think the world of you.
    We will go away together for that sweat camp when you get back, and you can fill me in on all your adventures.

    xxx
    Always.

    • Hi Joelene, I am much happier within myself now and things have unfolded for me in amazing ways…this time away has been very rewarding, fulfilling and full of growth. NZ will always be home for me, Bali is my second home now and I intend to create a bright future within both countries :)…looking forward to catching up and sweating with you :)..much love xx

  3. wow, well done! you could give talks about your journey

    • Hi Kim, I actually meant to do that last time and never got around to it…I have some important fund raising to do for these kids in Bali so looks like my time has come to get speaking! Will get some tips from you on my return :)…see you soon!

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