The Power of Vulnerability

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I’vVulnerabilitye been trying to work out what is at the root of the ‘not so nice’ emotions I’ve been feeling since I arrived back in NZ . Today I was guided to a ‘TED’ video and there I found my answer… vulnerability. In the video below, Brené Brown discusses the power of vulnerability and says “Connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives us purpose and meaning in our lives. The ability to feel connected”.

That’s it – I’ve lost my connection. I was so connected and committed to life in Bali and I had purpose. Now I have no job, I have no home of my own, I have moved from my support network in the search for growth in another city, I’m lost…and I’m vulnerable.

We numb vulnerability

As Brené says “We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, medicated adult cohorts in US history” (I would add the rest of the Western world to that).  We buy things we don’t need, we eat things our body doesn’t want, we numb with excess alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, sex or any other addiction we can get our hands on to stop feeling the pain of vulnerability.

You cannot selectively numb emotion

If you try and numb the “not so good emotions” – like fear, sadness, grief, anger, worthlessness; then we numb everything – joy, gratitude, happiness.  Then we are miserable and we’re looking for purpose and meaning, then we feel vulnerable again.  And so the cycle continues…

We Blame, We Perfect (control), We Pretend 

Blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort.

We try to make our children perfect, or our houses or our bodies, etc.

We pretend that our actions won’t have an effect on other people.

“Let ourselves be seen – deeply seen.  To love with our whole hearts even though there’s no guarantee.  Practice gratitude and joy in moments of terror.  To feel vulnerable means I am alive…”       – Brené Brown


 So, I invite you to watch the 20 minute TED video and leave your comments below:

  • Do you struggle with vulnerability?
  • How do you push away vulnerability?

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