Forever Evolving…

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You can flyIt’s been an interesting few weeks.  I’ve been busy getting myself organised for my trip to Bali – booking flights, accommodation, checking vaccinations required, insurance, packing up the bits I have with me in Tauranga to go back into storage again.

Changing Emotions…

I have been experiencing mixed emotions with it all.  On one hand I’m really excited.  Excited to be heading back to the magic of Bali, the energy, the people and of course to see my beloved Yogi, Ari and the children at the Yayasan.  They will have grown and changed so much since I last saw them 18 months ago.

On the other hand there is a bit of trepidation. I think it’s the packing up of everything again and leaving the safety and security of the known for the unknown.  I’ve been here before.  The most recent being two years ago when I first went to Bali and one year ago when I moved to Tauranga.

In January when I made the decision to travel again for a few months I was still in a place of limbo and to be honest I felt like I was running away.


In the few short months since January my life has changed once again, and I have been blessed to have some wonderful new people in my life who have become friends, some of which will become very good friends as time goes on.

I am now feeling settled in Tauranga and look forward to creating a life there.  I love the climate, the location, the beaches, the sunshine and of course my new found friends.  It feels wonderful to have that again after losing those things when I moved from Wellington. I still have my good friends and connections there but it’s very different having a phone conversation with someone to being with them in person.  I miss them immensely.

Mount Maunganui

Mount Maunganui – Paradise

The sense of connection and belonging is very important to me.  I think it’s important to everyone.  We all want to belong.  We all want a sense of community.  Life is very lonely without it and it’s very easy to flit from here to there searching when all you really need to do is put your roots down for a bit and let it happen.

I’m so happy it’s finally happened for me here.  I now have somewhere to come back to.  I now know where I want to settle and create a life going forward and I’m excited about that.  I look forward to having a home of my own again and getting my things out of storage and “nesting”, connecting, creating, sharing.

The pain and angst of 2012 has now faded into the past.  The cocoon I wrapped myself in so tightly last year has broken open.  I feel like I’m starting to spread my wings again and it feels fantastic!

 Emerging Butterfly

“The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth.” – Unknown

 Monarch Butterfly

Time heals…

I truly believe in the saying “everything happens for a reason”.  It does.  I KNOW it does.  At the time, when you’re in amongst the shit of the moment, you have no idea what that reason is, but you DO come out the other side and at some stage you are able to look back and say “that was crap, but I’ve learnt from it and for that I am grateful”.

Even though I know to a certain degree what to expect in Bali, this time will be so very, very different from 2011 and I know there will be new challenges to overcome.  I’m completely open to whatever arises and I look forward to the opportunities for growth and magic.

For the first time in a very long time I feel like I’m stepping back into my power.  I am feeling strong within myself, happy, content and about to embark on a new adventure.  Life’s feeling pretty damn good right now 🙂

A new chapter begins…

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  1. jan madigan says:

    Paula you are an inspiration. I so enjoy your wonderful words each month and can so relate to April’s letter from you. Blessings to you and much happiness on your journey 🙂

    • Thank you so much Jan, I love getting feedback that people are enjoying my articles and the website…Thank you so much for your continued support, that’s why I keep doing what I’m doing 🙂

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