Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself…

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The human brainMany of us spend huge amounts of money on self-improvement – books, DVD’s, workshops and coaching. Coaches help us to gain clarity and keep us accountable, workshops help us find new ways of viewing life, and both give us new tools for dealing with things.

They all have their place, but at the end of the day the buck stops with us – WE have to make the effort to make the changes, and it ain’t easy!

Having been on my own self-improvement journey over the past 15 years or so, it’s damn hard to break the habit of who you are, who you’ve become.

You go to a workshop thinking, ‘This is it, this will be the one that works’; and it feels fantastic while there, with like-minded people to support you, and you’re like a sponge – in the moment – taking it all in -‘getting it’ – and then you go home and life falls back into place…just as it was before, and you feel no different.

We are all the product of our upbringing, our experiences; and all those experiences shape our subconscious into hard-wired ways of being…and they are tough to shift.

I’ve just started reading Brandon Bays best seller The Journey and in her first page she says the following:

“I once heard a story that each of us comes into this life as a pristine, pure, flawless diamond. And, through the trials of growing up and the course of life’s pains, our innate brilliance becomes hidden by a load of rubbish.

Then, when we become adults, we cover the whole mess with a coat of bright, shiny nail varnish. We present this artificial veneer to the world and wonder why no one seems to think it’s that extraordinary. Over time, we may even come to believe that this protective shell is who we really are, and we shape our whole personal identity around it.”

Sounds very familiar doesn’t it?!

I also very recently came across some awesome audio’s, all along the same lines. The title JUMPED out at me and so I listened to them.

I remember Dr Joe Dispenza from What the BLEEP Do We Know!?,  and remembered how I really resonated with what he had to say in that movie…I also resonate with what he has to say in these interviews…so much so that I wanted to share them.

They are only 20 minutes long and so worth the time to listen and learn. He talks about HOW we appear and WHO we are, are very different, and how to bridge the gap between the two to become our more authentic selves…


Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself Part 1

– Dr Joe Dispenza


Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself Part 2

– Dr Joe Dispenza


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  1. I love that quote about the diamond. It’s very true. I also read a quote once that was something along the lines of we spend our first 20 years learning all this stuff that other people put onto us and then we spend the next 20 years unlearning it. It’s definitely a process to discover who you really are, and you’re right about how we are always looking for the thing that will be the answer to our problems, when really we have the answers all along. We are our problem, but we are also our solution. Will have to listen to the audios!

    • Christel – I totally agree – WE are our problem!! And yes, also our solution…it’s just a matter of finding the resources that resonate with us that help shine that diamond again :-)…also totally agree about the 20 years learning and unlearning…it’s the unlearning that’s the hard part! Thanks so much for commenting, I really appreciate it 🙂

  2. This is so true! And such a small world, I was interviewed on the same show a few weeks ago! I will definitely be listening to these over the next few days thanks!

    • Haha Serena – that’s where I got the info from – after listening to your interview a few things on the site grabbed my attention and this one one of them! I LOVE how he explains things so that it’s easy to understand and really makes you think…

  3. I’ve done therapy since the 80s – I don’t regret any of it and yet I agree, we go in thinking this is the one. But I’ve come to think that it was THE one for that time – that skin was ready to be peeled from the onion. If we start diving into the sea we find it goes down very deep. We resurface for air. We need to.
    In the end, we are faced with CHOICE – moral, emotional, etc. in our day to day stuff. And it is our choices that tell us who/what we are – my opinion only.
    When I returned from my big walk in Spain, I really felt that something had settled into place in my psyche. It still feels like that although I’m slowly getting swamped with day-to-day detritus like money-worries etc.
    Thank you for this article – and the links – when we are ready, the teacher appears! 😀

    • Thanks for your wonderful feedback Nancy, and totally agree that it’s an ‘onion peeling’ process! I’m now beginning to think there’s not going to be ONE thing that suddenly makes everything alright…it’s going to be an ongoing process forever – forever evolving and growing…

  4. Thanks for the links Paula, I will definitely be watching these. I know only too well about attending seminars and workshops then falling into the same old habits. Its time for change.

  5. Hi Paula,
    Thank you for sharing the audios and the encouragement to be our real self, not what we are conditioned to be or have become. It is good inspiration!

    • Hi Ulrike, it’s such a shame we get so conditioned to our ways of being…it’s good to be aware of it though, particularly if you are a parent…would like to think it makes people more aware of the ways they talk and engage with their kids. Thanks for your comment and support Ulrike x

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