Beauty in the Imperfection

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Angkor ThomWe all give ourselves a hard time…the monkey mind chattering incessantly in the background – telling us we’re not good enough, berating us for making a stupid comment, telling us we’re too fat, too thin, too old, too…whatever. We wouldn’t treat our friends like this, so why do we do it to ourselves?

 

By Jess Ball

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”

Leo Tolstoy

Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop beating yourself up from the inside out because you think there is something wrong with you. Stop allowing the voices to overtake what you know deep down. It’s ok that you can’t feel it yet.

It seems like some of us are in constant states of worry and anxiety about who we assume we should be. I realise that’s a very broad statement (but scarily accurate if you really think about it…). And I am going to quickly tell you to Stop It. Enough is enough. And I’ll tell you why…

The beauty we are all searching for is hidden within our imperfections. There is an irony here perhaps… but there is also incredible, endless, unimaginable magic and possibilities in choosing to cross that threshold and be able to see yourself and feel YOU.

I decided to go on that journey myself not long ago. I was sick of the voices and wanted some peace once and for all. So I made a vow to myself. Every morning I would wake up and tell me how much I love my own beauty BECAUSE of the imperfections.

I forced myself to find gratitude for being here, even on the days where I just did not believe that in any way, shape or form. The days when I was a victim tied up in my own shackles. I was my own prison warden, and I had given myself a life sentence of punishment…

About my thighs being too big, my financial situation not being ‘ideal’ (what is that?), the fact that I didn’t have a partner (which obviously meant I was really messed up and totally unlovable), my type 1 diabetes was also part of the overall punishment picture. I had terrible skin, and other indictments – like not being able to cook, shave properly; my small propensity to sneak a cheeky drink or cigarette in times of stress; or use my perceived ‘manipulation’ of people to get what I wanted (I’ve since figured out people do lovely things for me because they actually like me as a person…something I certainly didn’t get because I didn’t like or trust myself at all).

Then I realised I had the key to break free. And it lay between the cracks. So I thanked my mind, body and spirit every morning for 60 days.

Love yourself

And it worked.

To love my beauty, in all its forms and at all levels, meant I gave myself permission to just be. To be me.

When you’re up against the loudest, harshest screams, it can be really easy to believe what you hear. I KNOW…So I trained myself to see again instead (and it was like teaching a child to read). And not from behind the illusionary curtain, but from the other side of that wall. The wall over which you can see the magical mountains and can look beyond the made-up pile of crap at your feet.

I was also very lucky to have my tribe around me, when I was in the dark night of the soul, who reflected the vision of my beauty back to me, especially when I truly believed I owned no grace at all. This is not a life of solitude, and if you are experiencing anything like I have mentioned, please do talk to a friend or family member of what’s going on for you, or seek some professional help.

We all have times in our lives when the turmoil inside gets overwhelming and we feel completely unworthy- of the good and the bad that is ‘happening’ to us (anyone who says otherwise, is not being honest or is uncomfortable in admitting their vulnerability).

Some choose to ignore it, but there is no doubt at all that it is the courageous ones who choose to face it head on, with a trust and eternal dedication to finding the treasure chest spot marked with an X on the pirate map. We are all students here, and we are all teachers.

In sharing these experiences and having these conversations, it equalises the false perceptions, as well as the unbalanced feelings we can often walk around holding onto in the daily grind. Those feelings of isolation, shame, mistrust and disconnection.

In my quest to find balance, I read a lot of books from authors like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay and John Bradshaw. Draw on the wisdom of others who have had similar experiences, and who share their knowledge and wisdom for the reason of helping others to spread their own wings.

Spread your wings

Because we all have wings, and when we are in the soupy waters of overwhelm, anxiety, depression or stress, we need the reflection to help remind us that we ARE ok and we ARE worthy of our place here on this earth. We are ALL beautiful, imperfect, graceful miracles… And you can definitely trust me on that.

.

Jess Ball

Jess Ball is a trained creative life balance coach, a qualified communications/personal manager, writer and a student of life.

She has combined her skills to form her own business, Creative Soul Management (based in Melbourne, Australia), which provides guidance and management for inspired individuals, both professionally and personally.

Jess works one-on-one to coach and mentor her clients through their journeys, and also fills a communications role if required.

She has a passion to help performers see their own reflection and explore the blocks that hinder peak performance, and works primarily with those who use their platform to create positive change. She assists them to spread their wings and shine on their own, by honouring their individuality so it can echo through their art as well as in their life.

Jess has been in the Australian entertainment industry for over 10 years as a talent manager, communications manager, music publicist and radio specialist. She has worked with many well-known personalities in radio, television, music and sport.

To get in touch with Jess, email her jess@creativesoulmanagement.com.au.

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Comments

  1. Fantastic!

    I believe in these words and choose to embrace them as I move forward on my own journey.

    Jess Ball is a fantastic teacher, mentor and professional guide. She’s been helping me in the role of life coach for the past few months and I’m not sure how I would have made it through such an extremely stressful work and personal period without her. She’s patient, understanding and helps to guide in the best direction for what our soul truly desires.

    Look forward to reading more from Jess and working with her more in the future.

    • Thanks Emma, it’s so great having Jess contribute to SoulCuisine and I immediately connected with her and her qualities. I can imagine the wonderful job she is doing with you and it’s so awesome when you find someone as special as Jess to help you through life’s ‘judder bar’ moments :-). Thanks so much for commenting and all the very best with everything…

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